What Really Happens When You Skip Feedback?
They’ve been at their companies for years. They’re highly valuable to their organizations.
And their careers are going off track because of a very preventable reason.
I’ve recently seen a few instances of the long-term damage a leader can do by skipping performance feedback or by giving ineffective feedback to her employees.
The situations I’ve observed affect high performers who are delivering impressive business results. But each has stumbling blocks that may have started out small but have amplified into big issues because they haven’t been addressed. The stakes are high in these situations, ranging from careers being stalled to the employee’s potential exit from the organization.
Unfortunately, I’ve heard many other stories like these as an executive coach. Usually, the affected employee has no idea of the problem — or no idea how big the problem is.
If only someone had told them.
Giving thoughtful, actionable feedback is one of the most important things leaders do. But it’s also a part of the job that many people feel uncomfortable with and are often tempted to skip. When they do, employees suffer.
You’re Missing an Opportunity
Delivering performance feedback might not be your favorite thing — especially when you have to ask an employee to change a behavior that’s harming business results. Have you ever known that you needed to deliver difficult feedback — but then you came up with a whole list of reasons to avoid it?
- I don’t have the time.
- I don’t have the energy.
- I don’t like hurting people’s feelings.
- I’ve had bad experiences in the past giving feedback.
There’s no denying that giving feedback can be uncomfortable. And skipping it might not seem like a big deal in the moment. After all, you have lots of other things going on. But it’s a very big deal for the employee who could benefit from your guidance. She is probably not aware of her behavior or its impact. And, eventually, this lack of awareness is going to cause long-term problems for her.
How to Give Better Feedback
Even if you’ve been skimping on feedback, you can get more comfortable with the process. These tips can help:
- Remember that you’re not being the “bad guy” by criticizing. Instead, remind yourself that you’re giving your employee valuable information to help her succeed. Framing the conversation in this way can help tremendously.
- Get in the habit of sharing what you noticed right after you observed it. Even taking a couple of minutes after a meeting to point out what went well and how to improve her effectiveness next time can go a long way.
- Giving feedback can be easier if you say it out loud before your actual conversation with the recipient. You can use a voice recorder or ask someone you trust to role-play with you.
Once you get comfortable with the idea of giving feedback, offer specific, actionable guidance to help the person make meaningful changes. Have you ever been on the receiving end of feedback that was so vague that you weren’t sure what the issue was and what you should do about it? To make sure that the feedback you offer is actually helpful, follow my simple feedback formula:
- Describe what you observed the employee doing as objectively as possible. Sharing facts without interpreting them can help.
- Describe at least 2-3 consequences of what you observed to help your employee understand the impact of her actions.
Once the employee understands the implications of her behavior, she is empowered to make a choice to take action or not..
Make a Difference For Your Employee
The next time you find yourself wondering why one of your team members engages in a certain behavior or why she doesn’t fix an ongoing problem, I challenge you to think about whether she’s gotten feedback about this issue. Have you given her feedback?
If not, please recognize that you are playing a role in the behavior continuing. Demonstrate your leadership by approaching the situation from a place of care and concerns for your employee, and your investment in her long-term success. Consider the guidance you would give her if you were in her shoes. To keep building your feedback skills, check out “Building a Strong Team,” part of my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.
